Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Randomize
