her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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