then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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