She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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