her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
whose parrot is this?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize