I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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