Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
