you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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