I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
