I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
