Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
