I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
