i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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