Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
