people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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