ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize