Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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