Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
