I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
