She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
