I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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