It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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