My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize