Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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