I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
