Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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