all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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