I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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