Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
