You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
