Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
