How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
