I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
