doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
