We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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