I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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