Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
