Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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