Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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