haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize