i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
