Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(+61): View more from Australia

He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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(757): View more from Virginia

just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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(772): View more from Florida

I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

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(847): View more from Illinois

Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27

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