You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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