You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
