I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
