the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize