you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
