She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
