i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
