Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
