Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
