I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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