So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
