its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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