Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
