White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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