Do you still have your period?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
