You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
