i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
