she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
