oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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