This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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