Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
