Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
