i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
