i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
