Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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