Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
