I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize